Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Alive.
So much puke
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
