Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
