I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
