I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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