Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize