so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
