don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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