I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
