I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
is it fun? or sober?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
