what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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