is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i already hear my dad disowning me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
