Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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