i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
