May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
