a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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