She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
