He is an equal opportunity slut.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
