if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
