Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
