I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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