It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
dude. I can hear the air.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
