nut hugger
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
