Whod you bang
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
