I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
