Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
