Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
kristin has been a bad kristin
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
