we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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