the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
