# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
