oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
