I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
