I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Found the puke drawer
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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