I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
