Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
