I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
