I hate all girls vehemently.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
