Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
