No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
