did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
