If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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