I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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