it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
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