Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
