Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
