I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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