you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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