The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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