Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
