Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
