Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
