Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
